Have you ever felt a loss for what to say in a socialsetting? Has meeting a person you wanted to date been a challenge for you up to
now? Then read on and discover some simple tips to meetpeople near me and to feel more socially confident.
In this article I want to share with you a few simple waysthat you can more easily meet and speak with people.
The best places to start to get better at talking withpeople is places you already feel comfortable. So first you may want to make a
list of places you go to every week and that you like to visit.
The more comfortable you are with who you are and where youare, the more other people will feel comfortable around you.
One of my biggest challenges in helping a client when we aretogether in a social situation is their nervous state of mind and mood. The
more anxious and uncomfortable they are with themselves and the setting, the
more difficult it is for them to sustain any kind of conversation.
So no matter how many groups of people I approach and talkwith and then introduce to the client, he or she will generally run out of
things to say or forget what they wanted to say out of nervousness and the
person or group will leave.
Sometimes I compare social interaction with levels of avideo game. It is often very repetitious and yet with practice you can get to
the next level and get to know the person better.
Knowing what to say and feeling comfortable enough to rememberwhat to say is a big step in the right direction.
Some clients seem to gravitate towards doom and gloomdepressing topics that almost instantly kill any conversation. Becoming aware
of what you may have been doing in the past and correcting this can help you to
make massive improvements in your social life and dating.
So here are some quick tips to help you start talking withpeople, where ever you find yourself and eventually you can work your way
towards improving even more.
1. Make a list of places you like to visit and where youfeel comfortable. So if you hate screaming over loud music and you are not a
good dancer and you do not drink alcohol then a loud club or bar may not be the
best place for you to meet people.Think of your hobbies and places you often visit each week.
If you find yourself going to a coffee shop a few times aweek and a diner a few more times a week for lunch near your office or job then
this may be a place you feel more relaxed and comfortable. It is a much lower
pressure setting and you are already there anyway. If you enjoy reading and
often visit a book store at lunch time or after work, then this may be a place
where you are more likely to meet a compatible person.
2. Chose or create a good conversation opener and memorizeit to the point where you can naturally and easily use this to start
conversations with just about anyone or even groups of people.
As you progress, you will want to pick an icebreaker oropener that gets you the results you want.
If you want to improve your calibration or ability to noticethe responses you are getting then any good opener will work well. You will use
it so often that you eventually can anticipate the types of responses you will
get and the whether this matches with the kinds of people you want to meet
The good thing about using the same opening with just abouteveryone is that you can then improve your calibration and then test other
things like clothing, accessories and even the places you meet people. An
opener that may work fantastic in a loud bar or club at night may be ridiculous
or strange in a Supermarket during the day.
Eventually you will want your opener to screen for the typesof people you want to apps to meet people.
3. After mastering one opener you may want to stack thisopener with a few more good stories, observations, cold reads, etc. ( cold
reading is similar to what "The Mentalist" of T.V. does and is great
to use instead of asking too many questions. Instead you make educated guesses
and they will correct you or you will see them agreeing with you and being very
intrigued :)
As you get more Advanced you can improvise and flow, howeverif you are NOT getting the results you want then maybe you should still stick
with an opener that will help you to know most of the possible responses---this
way you KNOW what to change, fix, adjust. And this is also where a good coach
can help you because they can offer you objective and helpful critique. So
consider coaching or at least find a friend you trust who can help you improve.
